lately (my florida realizations).

Lately I've been seeing life from a new angle; a new leaf, if you will. I didn't even realize it until I stayed up until 4:30 AM texting my best friend Holly on Friday night.
We were talking about the insanity of life, dreams, hopes...but then we started talking about Florida.
Recently, David's heart has been geared toward moving back to Colorado so we can be near my family & start our own family there. I want that, too... but I don't want it right now.
And before my Colorado friends/family flip out, let me just explain myself.

I've always been superrr close with my family. We tell each other everything, they showed me unconditional love (still do), and we were just very tight-knit. Then I met David who flipped my world upside down. I wanted to marry him, but I didn't necessarily want to move across the country the day after our wedding so that we could be with his family/friends. I knew marriage was about sacrifice--I had watched that from my own parents--and I chose to make the leap of faith, even if that meant leaving my family.

People ask me all the time, "How did you do that?" "Wasn't it hard?"
Um, yes. I started this blog as a means to express some of the stuff I was going through, which wasn't even the icing to what was really going on inside of me. {I may seem open on this blog, but I'm not generally an open person. I keep a lot inside and only tell the deep parts of me to a handful of people}.

Anyway, adjusting to the first year of marriage is hard enough in itself. David and I didn't live together before we were married, and throughout our entire engagement we had a long-distance relationship. So, add all that up with the fact that I was 19 years old, had never lived on my own before, and we had only known each other for a little more than a year and those were ingredients that would either bring us closer together or drift us further apart.

Spring Break 2009

At first they drifted us apart. I've talked about this several times before. Our marriage wasn't strong in the beginning.  Somedays I wasn't sure if we would last.  And when we would fight, I would leave... but I had nowhere to go.  All of the people that I would feel close enough to share things with lived 1,600 miles away.  So, eventually I would have to come back home and we would talk and work things out (sometimes until the wee hours of the morning).

See, if I would have never left my family physically, then I would have never been able to leave them emotionally.  I'm still close with my family, don't get me wrong, but I think God knew all along that though moving would be hard for me, it would grow me and stretch me and it would all become part of my testimony of things that I've been able to overcome.  Also, this and other circumstances that I've endured with David have brought us closer than I ever thought was possible.

God doesn't want us comfortable. Ever.  Our lives should be constantly growing, morphing into something that may seem ugly at first but you better believe it's going to turn beautiful.  This is why I question if moving back to Colorado is the path we should take.  There are two sides of me.  One side is family, family, family--I love them all so much and my heart aches to be with them.  But the other side of me is music--being able to pursue my dream of singing and performing, which has been instilled into my heart since I was very little.  The opportunities I have here in Orlando are completely non-existant there.  So, I'm waiting.  I'm praying.  I want the next move to be completely up to God.  I don't want to live here forever, but I don't know what the future looks like... it's hard being patient sometimes. :)

The best is yet to come, and the future is bright (literally).  After 2 and a half years, I'm finally starting to see the small things that make me love Florida.  Here are a few...
1. Animals.  All I ever saw in Colorado was deer, maybe a bear or a fox.  Here?  I see twenty different species of birds (and I LOVE birds) a day right outside my window.  I always see armadillo, more dead than alive, unfortunately, while driving to work.  Lizards... what can I say? At first I was so intrigued, now I have to watch my feet when I walk down my stairs so I don't accidentally step on one as they dart all around the stairs. I still think they are super cute, though.
Then there are the animals that are ever-present that I (thank God) have not encountered yet: Gators and Panthers.  And don't forget the insects.  I hate all insects, but I promise you every single day I see a brand new insect that I've never seen before.  I actually start to look forward to it because I'm a nerd and like to do my research.
2. Weather's the same all the time.  I miss seasons a whole lot.  However, it is nice to know I don't have to scrape snow off my windshield before I go to work.  My two essentials:  Sunglasses, and an umbrella because Florida's storms are fast and furious.
3.  I'm able to wear cute flip flops and sundresses all the time.  Enough said.
4. A "vacation" is a 40-minute drive away.  The beach/beach condo? 40 minutes.   Disney World? 40 minutes.  Universal? 40 minutes.  SeaWorld?  Less than 40 minutes. :)
5.  Family BBQ's with the in-laws.  I'm blessed to have awesome in-laws.  About once a month we have a BBQ in their beautiful screened-in backyard with David's sister Shanon and her husband Tyson.  After we are done eating, we swim in the pool or hot tub, or we sit at the table and play Apples to Apples or Catchphrase.  If I never moved here, I would have never became close with Shanon or David's parents.  :)


So, there's a few.  Have a beautiful weekend!  Enjoy where you are and live in the moment!