dreaming.

We've been doing a lot of dreaming lately.

Yesterday officially marked our 2 1/2 year anniversary and it's crazy how fast time has flown. We are now officially at the stage of being able to talk about babies and houses.  We may not be ready for either right now, but we are looking at houses all over the United States.

It's crazy because for the first time in my life I have no idea where we will be in one year.

At the start of our marriage, all I wanted to do was start a family and have a bunch of kids.  I felt like I was ready, yet God thankfully had another plan.  The first year to two years of our marriage was spent adjusting.  It's easy to live with one sinful person but then you add living for another imperfect person into the mix and it's a whole other dynamic.  We've been through some extremely rough patches.  Somedays I didn't think I was going to make it.  There were moments when I cried to God, asking him why he would bring us together if we were not meant to be.

But God had his hand on us the entire time.  He still does.  God is working in all areas of our lives even when we don't see them or feel His overwhelming love.
I'm not perfect, David's not perfect and our marriage will never be perfect.  But I thank God every day for His grace that He has extended to us.  It doesn't matter what you've done or said in your life--God loves you and when you ask for His forgiveness, His love, mercy & grace outpours into everything in your life.

Let this be an encouragement to you.  Wherever you are in life you have a God who loves you deeply.  It's a love that we as humans cannot begin to fathom or wrap our minds around; it's an unconditional love that isn't judging or condemning.  His love for us is a perfect love.

The other day at church I saw a picture on the wall that perfectly brought the message across of God's forgiveness.  This young man was broken and crying, but was wrapped in Jesus' arms.  Underneath was this Scripture:

"If you, O Lord, kept a record of sins, who could stand?  But with you there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared."  Psalms 130:3-4

Look at the people you around and surround yourself with those that show that grace and compassion to you.  Being honest is needed in all relationships, but being a judgemental friend is a whole other story. If you feel condemned, find new relationships. If you're somebody who sees yourself as a person who doesn't do much wrong, you need to evaluate your life.  I mean it.  Sit down with a pen and paper and ask God to speak to you about the things in your life that need to be changed in your heart. All of us have dirty hands.  Not even the greatest Preacher who has spoken 50,000 sermons and has helped save 1,000,000 lives is innocent.  In God's eyes, our greatest works are still filthy rags.

These last two years--but even more recently--we've evaluated.  We've evaluated the love we need from each other, we've evaluated what it means to be a Godly husband or wife.  We will always be evaluating until we die.

But at this moment in my life I feel my marriage is the strongest it's ever been.  Though Satan has attempted to use people or events to destroy us and although he has tried spreading lies into our family, we choose to not let him win.  And we refuse to feel condemnation from the enemy.  We run to the arms of God.  And every time we fall, we will keep running.

We're going to fall a lot more in this life.
It's inevitable.
But we are blessed to have a Savior who died for us.
And he fights for us & will until our mission is done here on earth.

That's the best feeling in the world.

Because of Him, we are able to dream.  We are able to create, to hope, to plan.  He's the center of it all.
Thank you, Lord.