another day, another audition.

A quick shot of me with my outfit I decided to wear today

I have a love-hate relationship with auditions. Does anybody really love them? Now, performing is a whole other thing. I don't get stage fright but I get audition fright, and the longer I have to wait, the more sick I become. I see it with others around me, too. We all start off early in the morning confident as can be. We have our songs picked out, we know how we are going to market ourselves... and slowly but surely our energy decreases and confidence gets lower each time we get put in another waiting room or we see another group of people who don't make it to the next round.

Today was the audition for The Voice and I'm glad I went. I was in a line with ten other people all with completely different voices and most past the age of 30 (there is no age limit in this competition). Our evaluator (sounds better than judge) was a cool guy, with a candle lit at his table and a warm voice as he told us that he wants us to have fun and not be nervous. When one girl in our group went completely blank on our lyrics, he encouraged her to try again and he didn't seem annoyed to be there as I've experienced in other scenarios in the past. I was the second to sing. I sang "You and I Both" Jason Mraz, the same song I chose for American Idol. I figured I would give the song another chance. I started on the bridge, but almost an octave higher than usual (or at least it seemed). I started to worry I wouldn't be able to hit the higher notes in the chorus, but was relaxed knowing that the room had great acoustics and I felt it gave our voices more depth. At the end of the song he said, "Thank you" and clapped, just like he did for everybody else.

At the end, once everyone had auditioned, he told us that the bar has been raised higher this year (the typical "it's not you, it's me" beginning) and that he wasn't going to give anybody callbacks. But he did point out me and another girl in the group, instructing us to leave our phones on just in case they give us callbacks. He said they would call before 8 PM. So I have another hour and a half. I'm really hoping for the call, but just like every other audition, I'm not defined by my voice or talents, it is just a small part of the person God created me to be. I love to sing, and I know he gave me a gift, but everything is in his timing and I have a lot more years to pursue this industry with a purpose.

I want to close with the 3 most common post-audition side effects:
1. Fatigue. Not necessarily tired, but you feel more like you got hit by a small train. The mixture of getting up early, waiting for hours, and the constant pump of that heartbeat feels like I just ran a marathon after I audition sometimes.
2. Hunger. When you have to leave for an audition at 5 am (or earlier), it's hard to make time for the most important meal of the day. But it happens, and at 7 o'clock you start feeling the tummy grumble, by noon you know you can't eat because it may not stay down, and by the time you get out of the audition you could eat a zebra.
3. Mixed emotions. Everyone handles rejection differently, and your chances of receiving rejection before you are successful is very common. Not many people get famous after one audition, unless you're Carrie Underwood. For me personally, I feel inspired after auditions - I want to work harder, practice more, expand my song vocabulary. But that is not a common post-audition feeling. Today I heard so many people talk down on themselves on the bus ride home. They called themselves things I would never even say. And it's too bad they are like that, because I believe the industry can tear you apart if you don't focus on the things you bring to the table.

That's just my 2 cents.