Learning about Me.

Every person in this world is so complex, even if we don't realize it.
The depths of a person vary with how well you know them or how willing they are to show you the inner core of who they are. For many that is a hard, painful road to go down on... for showing our true selves sometimes equals to painful rejection.

I just find this fascinating.
I find it fascinating that one day God decided to make man and woman.
Walking beings with intelligence, emotion, senses, love.

I can't imagine what this planet would look like without humans.
Maybe a little less-destructive, sure, but so lonely.

And how blessed am I that I live in a free country with no debt to my name, with a roof over my head, a loving husband, a nice vehicle, a laptop to write this blog to remember memories and to keep in touch with family and friends. How lucky I am to be alive.

I was looking over the list of the 2010 BlogHer Winners and came across a blog that I haven't come across yet, but I'm so grateful that I did.
Man, you talk about a woman with strength but gratefulness. In August 2008, Stephanie Nielson (Nie Nie) was in an airplane wreck with her husband. Both lived.

She created her blog in 2005 before the incident, and after the accident she didn't want to write (not to mention she couldn't type). But about a year and a half ago she returned to blogging. If you go there, you will see her recovery posts.
What an amazing woman. And her husband? Wow.
They both inspire me to not take a DAY for granted.

I wanted to share a post she wrote a few months ago describing her emotions when she heard of the fire that had broken out near their home in Utah.



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"A fire had broke out on the hills behind my house.
I don't like fires for a few reasons:

1. I was burned 83% of my body in a horrific plane crash so naturally,
fire just plain scares me.

2. Fire means smoke, and smoke is what invaded my lungs.
So the smell really terrifies me. It usually means something is not right.

3. I don't like the alarms and sirens.
They remind me of laying on the side of the road waiting
for help after the plane crashed. All I could think and feel were pain and thirst.
In fact, I was in desperate pain and all I wanted was a drink of water
and for someone to take my pants off since my jeans were burning into my legs.

4. The wildfire toasted some lush green trees and golden shrubs.
Makes' me so sad and protective to think about. "

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If you read her blog, you will see pictures of her 4 adorable children, hear about her faith in Jesus (she's a Mormon), and see her cute "retro '60s" taste.

http://www.nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/


I'm so encouraged and filled by reading the heart-warming, positive stories of the blogs I've been reading.
To hear what these women (and men) have overcome brings me to tears - I feel their pain, but I also feel their victory.

You know, lately my life has been about decisions.
And they aren't light decisions, really. I know I'm only 20 and have so many years to figure out who I am, but I want to start now... I want to start truly living with passion for whatever it is that I do. I know God has not given me a spirit of fear and I want to live that out as proof. I want to be known as a woman who loved and took chances, even when the circumstances were bad or didn't seem "right."

My dad was talking to me about this yesterday on the phone. We need to stop looking at the things that are only in our comfort zone. We are humans created in God's image to do good works. We are capable of so much. Every single one of us is.

So why are we standing around waiting for something?
Why are we only taking leaps of faith with the "safe" circumstances?

I'm so ready to just jump head-first, hair-flying, shoes-coming-off, screaming-on-the-top-of-my-lungs, "I'm free!" into a giant turquoise lake (and taking the risk of whether there are rocks at the bottom or not).

Because that is what I am. That is what you are. We are free.
Life is uncomfortable. Deal with it. Live it.

"Humans are designed to seek comfort and order, and so if they have comfort and order, they tend to plant themselves, even if their comfort isn't all that comfortable. And even if they secretly want for something better."
~Donald Miller

Moving here was hard.
Scratch that, moving here was crazy.

I didn't have a job, my friends, my family, or ANY guarantee that I would flourish.
But I am stronger than I thought. By the grace of God, I am more capable than I thought. And every hardship or heartache I've had to go home in the last 9 months has strengthened me, built my character, and has allowed me to see life from a different perspective. And for that, I understand why I'm here. It's a growing and learning period for me, and I'll gladly take it.